


i went to the union convention and all i brought back was a husband

by horsetrackhiggs



Category: Kamen Rider - All Media Types, Kamen Rider Ex-Aid, Kamen Rider Zero-One
Genre: First Dates, First Kiss, M/M, Parado Centric Fic, Post-Canon, Rare Pairings, a lot of kr problems would be solved if people started making unions, also like mentioned kiriemu taiga/graphite and...gouchase even, good for them! Literally good for them!, relationship speedrun basically WWHJKHGFR, there are some other referenced characters whose names dont get said, we simply think they deserve to be silly tall boyfriends and we are right, yes this is a parado/jin fic and there's nothing anyone can do about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:35:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27662132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/horsetrackhiggs/pseuds/horsetrackhiggs
Summary: In which Parado gets dragged to the Regional Union Convention and makes eye contact with the most beautiful man he's ever seen above the heads of the sea of people between them.
Relationships: Parad/Jin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 11





	i went to the union convention and all i brought back was a husband

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ampersandra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ampersandra/gifts).



> HAPPY BIRTHDAY TRIN!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!! im so glad you ended up sharing my kamen rider brainworms bc I've been having the best time sharing all of it with you and im glad we like to make silly ships as a joke and then get way too invested in them bc its very fun and sexy of us. anyways i love you and cannot wait to bully more kr gays with you<3

It happened at the Regional Union Convention. 

Parado didn’t particularly want to be spending his weekend there-- not that he didn’t enjoy being part of the Bugster Union, it just wasn’t his idea of a fun time. But he hated being stuck home completely alone more than the idea of sitting through panels and presentations about the ins and outs of unionizing so he went with. He’s sure he’ll find a way to entertain himself. All his favorite people were going to be in the same building for most of the weekend.

But suddenly Parado didn’t care about any of the boring things he was going to have to sit through with his friends for the next few days, because above the heads of everyone he’s making eye contact with someone beautiful. 

The guy had this delighted smile on his face, one that made Parado’s heart dance like nothing before. He was in a stylish suit, looking overly dressed but not in the stuffy way his least favorite doctor did. His earring was really cool as well-- Emu didn’t have any that were glowy like that, maybe Parado should ask the guy where he got it so he could get one for his brother. It would look totally dumb on Emu, but it was less about him and more about Parado finding an excuse to teleport over and talk to him.

Sadly, the bugster wasn’t quick enough in planning out all the right words in his head because the person was no longer looking at him, having focused his attention on a shorter man to shake him about. He wasn’t too mad though-- seeing him act in such a silly way only piqued Parado’s interest more since it went against what the attire would have one assume. 

Plus it gave him something to do all weekend. A game to find the stranger at this large convention while Graphite tries to drag him to various events.

Parado wants to keep staring, since as his game objective spared a look back at him as his group began to walk away, but Emu elbowed him hard.

“You’re being rude.” He hissed, quickly turning back to the pair they had been talking with for a bit. 

Before they walked over, Emu had explained that it was the younger brother and a friend of a rider that had helped out during the whole evil Pacman debacle. Kiriya knew them personally it seemed, something about the brother contacting him about some research for something that Parado didn’t care enough about to remember. But both wanted him to be nice, they all played rather big roles in their branches of the union. 

He hadn’t been listening when they were introduced, instead thinking of strategies of how to beat Nico in the new game they started streaming together-- he was going to meet more people than he was used to, so he figured not remembering names and details would be understandable. After all, Snipe had recently admitted that he hadn’t known Emu’s name for almost two months after they started fighting together, so the bugster just had to be in the clear.

The stoic man shifted to shake Emu’s hand firmly, offering another flat ‘Nice to meet you’ before turning to do the same with Parado. But before he could reach out, he paused awkwardly. Parado tilted his head in curiosity as he noticed that the man with him was grabbing at his sleeve with a strange urgency-- it reminded Parado of how Emu had acted with Kiriya after both of his revivals. What an unfortunate trend in the rider world.

It was hardly noticeable, but the man’s expression became gentle; taking the other’s hand in his own to intertwine their fingers and causing the man to very visibly relax. Parado hated to admit it, but it was sweet in a way. He was glad it meant no handshake for him-- he was never good at those and he didn’t care for strangers touching him much.

They part from the pair, Emu taking Parado by the arm to drag him into one of the conference rooms. He was excited about this one, even though he’d already seen Poppy and Graphite practice it a handful of times; seeing them get all passionate about it made Parado’s chest all warm.

It was looking as if the boundless love for the other two bugsters was going to be the final good feeling Parado had the first day of the convention. 

He doesn’t catch even a glimpse of the mystery man once and he’s already getting frustrated by his lack of progress. Not even Emu offering up his phone for Parado to play on brightens his mood; he loses his first round of Bejeweled before sighing and teleporting into the device to rest, causing Kiriya to dive to the floor to catch the phone before it could shatter.

The only reason Parado comes back out in a few hours is because it’s Graphite who asks him to. He thinks his younger brother will like this presentation; it’s run by one of the younger members of the more recently formed Humagear branch, and Parado wasn’t about to deny Graphite something like this, not when he’d dedicated hours upon hours to listening to Parado incomprehensibly talk about whatever game he was obsessing over at the time, even if he doesn’t think that he’ll enjoy it as much as the other thinks he will.

Turned out, Parado was fucking wrong-- he’s going to have to buy Graphite a cake or something once they get home, even if he’s not planning on telling his brother how he changed everything without trying.

Jin. That was the mystery person’s name, and he was the speaker for this talk. He looked just as good as Parado remembered, better even now that he was talking with confidence and enthusiasm, putting his whole body into every word. The way Jin spoke with his hands flying about was endearing, and Parado can’t remember the last time anything caught his attention like this (it was a bad season of new games).

His voice was nice too; Parado was having a hard time paying attention to what he was actually saying because he was busy trying to calculate the rate at which his speech sped up when he got excited, the octave it went to when he went back to being more serious and how all the different smiles he wore slipped into his voice.

Graphite shuts his notebook loudly, pulling Parado out of his thoughts as Jin delivers his final words, which are less to the audience and more to his dad and siblings who are sitting off to the side, just a sweet moment of him shouting over the mic that he loves them and causing all of them to look more than a bit embarrassed. 

Tragically, the bugster was unable to find the humagear after the room emptied. He goes back to sulking into Emu’s phone until the next day. 

Every new day brings new opportunities, right? Something something about hope? Parado’s sure there’s some sort of human saying with that sentiment-- the fruity wizard guy said a couple of one liners about it, but Parado had wanted to call him a slur so bad that he couldn’t focus on anything he was saying.

All that really matters is that Parado’s got some new information that’s going to make this game easier for him to complete. He’s already scanned over the schedule for the day, picking out all the panels that had to deal with humagears for him to attend. 

Some of them he had to suffer through alone, but most he could just tag along with Graphite or Poppy. None of them for the day had Jin listed as a speaker, but he recognized one of the speakers as his sibling with some strange human that wouldn’t stop cracking shitty jokes. It gave Parado a headache. Graphite tried to get them to leave that one early.

The day is mostly over and Parado hadn’t even been able to do a double take because he thinks that he’d seen Jin. Totally a cringe epic gamer fail moment on his part. He’s just about to go back to sulk over it again (maybe in Kiriya’s phone this time, for a change in scenery) when someone is grabbing his shoulders from behind, leaving Parado too shocked to teleport away like he usually would.

“There you are, Paradox!” The stranger said, in the voice Parado has been so desperate to hear for the past few days. “I’ve been looking for you.”

The bugster hadn’t known this was a two player game. An extremely welcomed plot twist.

For a moment, Parado considered leaning back into Jin, but before he could act on that impulse, he was being spun around. The humagear kept a firm grip on his shoulders, face just a bit too close to Parado’s own and sporting a smile that was making his heart do a concerning amount of flips.

“You know my name.” Is all Parado can think to say, voice cracking slightly in a way that he’d usually mock Emu for.

“I know a lot of things.” Jin responds, one of his hands moving to tug at Parado’s necklace absently. 

“Like what?” Parado isn’t sure if he’s allowed to touch Jin in return, none of the human etiquette he’d been taught seemed like it was going to do him any good here and the thought of doing nothing made him feel like he was losing this game again.

Jin seems surprised when Parado shuffles forward a little more, tilting his head with his signature wild smile as he starts toying with the chain that Jin usually kept his Progrisekey on. His posture relaxes a bit as he hums in thought, considering his next words.

“That you are handsome, for one.” He decides to say, a laugh bubbling out of him as his words cause Parado to glitch out of existence for a moment. 

Parado wants Jin’s laugh to be the soundtrack to his life, he’d decided. 

The bugster clears his throat, forcing himself to look away from Jin for a few seconds so he could fully recover.

“How strange…” Parado starts, now teleporting behind Jin and dropping his head on the other’s shoulder. Jin doesn’t seem phased by this at all. “I’ve been thinking the same thing about you all weekend.”

“Have you now?” Parado can hear the grin in Jin’s voice. 

“Mhm-- it’s almost like you’re the one who’s a virus, with the way all my thoughts seem to have been infected by you.” He knows that one sounded lame as hell; but it’s hard for even Parado to not have his moments when one of his brothers spoke in the stupidest way and the other had a boyfriend that never missed even the worst opportunity to drop some kind of flirty line.

Jin laughs again, knocking his head into Parado’s before spinning on his heel so they are facing each other once more.

“We’re friends now.” Jin starts, and Parado doesn’t have time to be disappointed. “But I think we could make it into something much more with a date-- does that work for you, Paradox?”

Honestly, Parado’s proud of himself for not just instantly saying yes. He gives himself a moment to think if there is any reason his friends would notice his prolonged absence. Poppy wouldn’t, he thinks. She’d probably be too busy trying to entertain all the new friends she’s managed to make. Emu and Kiriya would probably be grateful that they managed to get some alone time in the hotel room, to be all gross and gay and in love. Parado knows that Graphite has already teleported to Taiga’s to do the exact same thing for the rest of the night, so there really was nothing stopping him.

“Let’s level up, Jin.” He says finally, a look on his face that used to be saved for when he was about to cause some serious problems for the CR back in the day.

Jin gave Parado a strange but fond look before taking his hand and pulling him out of the main convention space.

The pair wasn’t doing anything particular, but Parado was loving every moment of it. They took turns dumping heaps of information while the other listened intently, hands staying locked together even as both of the men flung them around to speak. Little comments of “you’re amazing” and “you look stunning when you smile” were being slipped in more than necessary, but both were giddy and gay and had never experienced something like this before.

Hours somehow passed, and they found themselves in an out of the way plaza due to taking a detour to avoid the easy way back to the convention. Jin had bad memories that took place on a bridge and Parado was terrified of water. It worked out.

With a loud sigh, Jin sat himself down on a sculpture that definitely had a sign requesting for people to not do such. Parado sat on the ground in front of him, stretching his legs out and tilting his head back to look up at the humagear.

Jin makes a small noise, eyes lighting up in a way that got Parado’s heart pumping.

“Do you think you’d be able to possess my operating system?” He questions, tapping at his glowing earring. 

Parado hesitates for a moment. Emu had told him time and time again that he can’t just go possessing things and people, especially at the convention since so many of the attendees had trauma related to losing their autonomy or watching someone they cared about losing it. But then again, Emu wasn’t here right now, and he was being asked this by a very cute guy that he really liked.

“We’ll have to try and see then, won’t we?” Parado says carefully, waiting for any reaction on Jin’s end to give him the go.

As soon as a full grin stretches across Jin’s face and his fingers are brushing against Parado’s cheek, the bugster is gone with a soft static sound. 

It felt weird-- not uncomfortable, but weird. When possessing any sort of tech or Emu, Parado always felt a vague sense of safety and home. But possessing Jin felt nothing like that. Everything was hot and Parado’s own consciousness felt heavy as he navigated about the system; his thoughts mingling in with Jin’s and making them all incomprehensible. He could hear how Jin’s breath was heaving, feel the way his hands were shaking in his own. Parado’s pretty sure they were sharing dizziness as well.

It was an... Intimate experience. A pleasant one that was making it hard for either to gather their bearings. 

Parado almost loses himself in the new feeling, nearly lets himself get consumed by everything that is Jin until he starts to notice the other moving and taps into his senses.

One of Jin’s hands is cupping at his own face, thumb gently stroking his cheek. Parado can feel the pressure, and his breath hitches loud enough for Jin to hear inside his own head. They stay like that for what feels like years but is probably only a few seconds really.

“Parado…” Jin whispers out loud, and Parado almost feels sick from the tenderness in his voice. No one has ever said his name like that, he didn’t know it was possible for someone to say something like that to a weird bugster with some serious issues and a history of being more trouble than he’s worth.

He’s not sure where the sense of urgency is coming from, but Parado quickly removes himself from Jin’s system. Jin blinks at him a few times, worry starting to wash over his features before Parado is grabbing at the lapels of his blazer and pressing their lips together.

It was Parado’s first kiss, but it was fine because it was also Jin’s. They both stayed frozen for a moment once they made contact, not entirely sure what they were to do next. But then Jin was slipping his arm around Parado to pull him closer, and they were moving together awkwardly until they were able to figure out what felt the best. The kiss continued to be sloppy, too much enthusiasm from both sides as they opened their mouths and got their hands in each other's hair. Lucky neither of them needed to actually breathe so they could just keep going until they found a better rhythm without anything getting in the way. 

Parado did have to end up stopping them after a good while, unfortunately. He determined they were starting to tread the line of what was considered public indecency (Graphite and Taiga had gotten in trouble for that one before, he doesn’t think Emu would appreciate him taking after their bad example), with Jin pressing Parado into the concrete with his blazer half removed and Parado’s shirt shoved far too high up his chest. It was all out of innocent eagerness and marvel of the new experience. 

“We should get some privacy.” Parado mumbles as Jin pulls him up, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek.

“I’m sharing a suite with my dad.” Jin pouts, and Parado does as well after a dramatic groan.

“Well we still got to the next level, so I should be happy with that.” His tone still sounds disappointed, but he leans in for another kiss which Jin happily returns.

Both discover that they really enjoy kissing. Especially kissing the other.

Jin’s the one to pull away this time, a perfect smile with an edge of mischief stretching across his face.

“We could take it a level further, you know.” 

“What?” Parado sounds bewildered, head tilting in awe.

“There’s a chapel nearby.” Jin states matter-of-factly.

“Are you asking me to elope?” Parado sounds more amused than anything, bouncing on his heels a bit.

“Obviously!” Jin responds, voice earnest and sweet. “So, what do you say, Paradox?”

Parado lets out an airy laugh, a lopsided smile making a home on his face as his heart danced around in his chest in a way that almost made him feel like he was dying. 

“Duh.” 

That’s Parado’s only response before maneuvering to lift Jin off the ground enough to spin him as a way to get all this pent up energy inside of him out. Jin didn’t seem to mind, because he was giggling along with his soon to be bugster husband as the sun started to peek up over the horizon.

(Nearly 4 months later at a completely different union gathering, Graphite runs into the humagears alone. Parado was busy with a gaming tournament that day, and it was more for organizational reasons.

“Pardon-- is that not the necklace that belongs to my kin Parado?” Graphite inquires, face stern as Jin laughs into his hand.

“Ah.” It’s Horobi who responds. “So you are the brother of that bugster who married my son.” 

Graphite stares at them for a moment, Horobi fighting off the ghost of a smile on his lips and Jin finding it more difficult to keep himself under control.

“Parado did fucking what now?”

When Parado gets a text later from Jin with a comment about how funny Graphite was when he got all worked up, he couldn’t help himself from smiling and reaching for the clunky leather necklace he had been wearing since the final day of the last convention.)

**Author's Note:**

> AGAIN HAPPY BIRTHDAY TRIN!!! 
> 
> i hope u enjoyed!!! if somehow someone other than trin is reading this union convention romance, you can find me on tumblr/twitter @ dumbassology
> 
> (also thank u to my emotional support lesbian who beta-ed this for me, even tho they have no idea what the fuck a kamen rider is)


End file.
